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Amid Surging COVID-19 Cases, Satan Bans Americans From Entering Hell
  • August 16, 2020August 16, 2020
  • Anthony Schepis

Amid Surging COVID-19 Cases, Satan Bans Americans From Entering Hell

As the U.S. continues to bungle its COVID-19 crisis, Satan, the Lord of Darkness, announced a moratorium on American souls entering Hell. “Out of an abundance of caution,” Beelzebub told reporters, “we simply cannot welcome people into eternal damnation who aren’t taking this thing seriously.”

Drag Queen At Reopened Bar Lip Syncs For Her Life, Dies
  • August 11, 2020August 11, 2020
  • Siyu Song

Drag Queen At Reopened Bar Lip Syncs For Her Life, Dies

Bar patrons fondly remembered Pam’s final lewk, which featured red stilettos and a sequined N95 mask. The crowd could be heard yelling, “you’re giving me lifeeeeee!” Unfortunately, contact tracing later confirmed they gave the performer a deadly case of the novel coronavirus.

5 Things To Do When Your Daddy Receives A PPP Loan
  • August 7, 2020August 7, 2020
  • Kevin Necciai

5 Things To Do When Your Daddy Receives A PPP Loan

We reached out to some of the most successful sugar babies for advice and put all of their wisdoms in one place for young entrepreneurs looking to break into the sugar baby biz.

5 Ways To Be Your Own Little Fire Island
  • July 17, 2020July 17, 2020
  • Megan Pope

5 Ways To Be Your Own Little Fire Island

Don’t want to go to an over-priced vacation spot during a pandemic, but still want to re-create and embody the white supremacist practices and institutional biases from the comfort of your own home. You deserve this, self care hunny!

80 Ways To Distract Yourself From The Fact Chrissy Teigen Got Top Surgery Before You
  • June 22, 2020June 22, 2020
  • Megan Pope

80 Ways To Distract Yourself From The Fact Chrissy Teigen Got Top Surgery Before You

On June 11, 2020, former model and lifestyle guru Chrissy Teigen posted a Tweet about how she got her boobs cut off. Meanwhile, your FTM top surgery has been continually postponed due to COVID-19 protocols.

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