I am proud to be able to come out and say, “hello world, I am Pan-sexual. I am in love with the half-goat, half-man of Greek lore, Pan.” For years, I called myself Bisexual, but that wasn’t really it. Yes, he is both, a man and a goat, but he’s also a god… so that’s more than two things.
Despite the bisexual community’s increasing acceptance into the LGBTQ+ populace, sources have confirmed that – God fucking damnit – the Tarnoczian dictator Oswyn Romahai has come out as bisexual this week.
If you are anything like me, you have been waiting all year to come out at the right time, just as the turkey hits the table. However, you might be thinking, “but how can I do it this year? since May I have been living in my mom’s guest room.” Well don’t worry, you still can, with only a couple of small tweaks, you can turn a Zoom Thanksgiving into a fight about why “it’s not a choice, Uncle Stew” as quickly as you can in person.
When 18-year-old James Potkin sat his devout Catholic parents down to have his coming out conversation, he was nervous about how they’d respond. Little did he know Deborah and Grant would be the most supportive parents he could’ve asked for…and he’s over it.
Local auditor Noreen Greene is disowning her Kansas City Sun for being gay. Last Monday, after chowing down on some Chik-Fil-A, burning a rainbow flag, and donating to 4 different conversion therapy organizations, Greene looked up at the sky, shielded her eyes, and screamed: too much! I’ve had enough!