BOSTON, MA— In a total coincidence that has absolutely nothing to do with a co-signed apartment lease ending, Boston resident Tristan Knowles split ways with their boyfriend this week after exactly one year and two weeks of dating.
Knowles, 23, and their former lover, 42, will “definitely stay close friends,” according to a lengthy public Facebook post, and “may even get back together someday if his credit score gets back above 700.” Knowles added that the fact they can’t afford to live alone and currently has no job could not be any less related to this situation.
“I am saddened to report that Seth and I are no longer living together, and in an unrelated note, are no longer dating,” Knowles wrote in a continued in the Facebook post. “I will miss his great personality, his incredible job, and his amazing credit score that helped us live my dream of renting a beautiful three bed, two bath brownstone apartment in the historic South End…it’s really too bad he missed a card payment.”
At press time, Knowles was seen googling “apartments for rent no income no credit no reference no problem” and messaging older men whom they thought looked rich on OKCupid and Scruff.