Missoula, MT—Local father Jim McConnor has taken to Facebook to announce that even though it took “some time,” he has finally found time during quarantine to accept the fact that his son, Samuel McConnor, 27, “identifies as a gay.”
Jim shared that he realized that by week eight of only interacting with his wife, dog, and that Domino’s delivery driver who “should really do something with his hair,” that not only this quarantine thing was serious, but so was his son.
“You know, after cleaning the garage and binge watching all of Ballers, I finally had time to learn acceptance,” stated Jim McConnor, age 56.
“To be fair, it wasn’t that I rejected a child I had raised for years—it was just I didn’t accept this big piece of information. There is a difference.”
McConnor began to equate his acceptance with the emancipation of the enslaved in the United States, but quickly realized he had crossed a line. “See, I caught that—progress! If those snowflakes could see me now!”
When asked about what to-do list items were prioritized over showcasing support for a child he helped raise, McConnor mentioned mowing the lawn, getting around to donating that box in the basement to Goodwill, and proving to a neighbor that Breaking Bad is the greatest TV show since M*A*S*H.
Others in the McConnor family also took notice in the dramatic shift in the patriarch.
“I’ve never seen him behave in such a way,” shared Darlene McConnor, long time wife of Jim. “I’ve been asking for so many years for him to recognize our son and he would just keep showing me his planner. Sports to check, tobacco to chew, TV dinners to warm up—his list seemed endless and yet, he made it.”
Nick Rudinksi, Samuel McConnor’s husband of one year, also shared how his father-in-law was an awkward presence at their wedding: “He kept asking why two grown men were having a bar mitzvah. Neither of us are Jewish. Or 13.”
However, Jim McConnor does not feel any remorse for his lack of timeliness in his decision to see his son for who he is.
“I figured that Sammy had other people to lean on in the meantime, like his good friend he has been living with for the past four years,” said Mr. McConnor. “According to the Christmas card they sent with that nice photo of the two of them in matching sweatshirts and that cat they adopted together, I knew that Sammy wouldn’t mind if I put his special thing on the back burner.”