CINCINNATI, OH— A local woman caused minor delays in the Rural King parking lot on US Highway 31 this morning when she insisted on backing into her chosen parking spot.
Leslie Middleton, driver of a sage green 2011 Subaru Forrester Limited Edition, was running her usual Saturday morning errands and stopped at the farm and garden supercenter to purchase more chalk to line the local softball field.
As she pulled into the Northgate Shopping Plaza, Middleton was in luck—a spot opened up two rows left of center and three spots back. Amongst straight people, this is known as “rock star parking.”
Onlookers gasped in horror as the Subaru pulled past the prime parking location, but Leslie had a plan. She put the car in reverse and looked over her shoulder through her Oakley sunglasses and began cutting the steering wheel to the right. Then, leaning hard into traditional lesbian stereotypes, Leslie backed into the parking spot.
“It seemed like an odd choice,” said Derk McKenzie, who witnessed the spectacle. “The place wasn’t even that busy. There was a spot two rows over she could have just pulled through.”
Others speculated that perhaps Middleton was test-driving the car and perhaps wanted to try out the car’s back up camera, but a quick glance at the hatch of her car revealed a Human Rights Campaign decal and a “Lesbians Against Bush” bumper sticker, proving her to be the car’s original owner.
Middleton could not be reached for comment because she was able to exit the parking lot in record time.