Lesbian Couple Finishes Show

SALT LAKE CITY, UT— Local lesbian couple Vanessa Cooper and Brie Alexander announced this Sunday that they had finally finished watching all the episodes of Ryan Murphy’s lesbian thriller, Ratched. Alexander explained, “this is huge for us. We didn’t even like the show that much, but we are just excited we got through it!”


The decision to watch Ratched to completion didn’t come easily to Cooper and Alexander, who reportedly quarreled over what show they should watch for weeks. After starting and abandoning The L Word, Season 2 of The OC, and The Haunting of Bly Manor, they eventually settled for Ryan Murphy’s lesbian show out of resignation.


Cooper and Alexander both work demanding jobs as corporate lawyers, but they noted that they make sure to keep things exciting at home. When asked to clarify what qualified as exciting to the couple, they mentioned that their cat recently had ringworm.


The couple expressed excitement at the prospect of bringing up the completion of Ratched in any upcoming conversations. Cooper stated, “I’ve been talking about taking little Bette to the vet and disinfecting the whole apartment for weeks, so it will be nice to mix it up!”


One friend, Lena Cass, expressed annoyance with the couple: “this is all they are going to talk about. And it especially sucks because I finished Ratched like a month ago.”


When asked what they will do now that they have finished their show, the couple showed some uncertainty. Cooper remarked, “we’ll either break up or watch all the Star Wars movies to see the lesbian fighter pilot in the last one.”

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