Breaking: Girlfriend Bringing Jacket

RICHMOND, VA— This just in: it is chilly outside and Sophie Hanson’s girlfriend, Kim, will, in a shocking turn of events, be bringing a size small jean jacket from the Gap. Sophie told reporters that she was on the edge of her seat in anticipation to find out the final jacket verdict for their neighborhood walk this afternoon. 

 

“I don’t like when she doesn’t bring a jacket when I clearly want to bring a jacket,” Kim told reporters, “because, it’s like, now I feel like my choice to bring a jacket is somehow wrong?” 

 

Kim, who was wearing a mere sweater at the time, requested her girlfriend turn off the TV and make direct eye contact with her because she had some very high priority questions: “do you think I should bring a jacket?”, “are you bringing a jacket?”, “can I just wear yours if I get cold?”, “what if we go to the grocery store and I need it in the freezer aisle?” 

 

Before she could answer, she heard Kim announce from across the apartment at full volume that she was just going to bring a light jacket. It quickly became obvious that the jacket of Kim’s choice would, indeed, be Sophie’s jean jacket from The Gap. 

 

With temperatures dropping, things like “jacket?” are becoming a hot button topic for lesbians everywhere, and, to Kim’s shock and dismay, Sophie was not planning on bringing a jacket at all. Sources have yet to confirm whether or not this controversial choice was related to Kim’s possession of her only fall jacket. 

 

Sophie, overwhelmed, was transported back to the many “are you bringing a purse” incidents of 2019– once, the couples’ inability to decide whether or not to bring purses caused them to miss the entirety of Kim’s niece’s bat mitzvah.

 

Upon leaving for the walk, Kim forgot said jacket all together, and didn’t even notice.

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