In this world, you’re either a butch or a femme, a top or a bottom and a lesbian or a lawyer, and nothing in between! Ever! It’s always best to sort people into very narrow boxes that we define without consulting them. Do you ever see a stern looking lady and wonder if she could defend you in court or if she’s just a lezzie? This quiz is to sharpen your deciphering skills.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
Wrong! This is entertainment attorney Lisa Callif. But the dark, mysterious stare is misleading, we get it.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
Correct! This is entertainment attorney Lisa Callif. She lives in LA so it’s surprising that she isn’t even a little queer, but unfortunately she’s just a lawyer.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
CORRECT! This is openly lesbian actress Elena Anaya Gutiérrez. She played a small part in Wonder Woman and we spent a lot of time hoping her and Gal Gadot accidentally kissed.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
WRONG! But, I know, right? Lesbians and their damn collared shirts- always leading us astray.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
WRONG! This is attorney Nancy Rose, but we get it. She looks like someone who would play a Julianne Moore in The Kids Are Alright-esque character trapped in a sexless lesbian marriage.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
CORRECT! You really have an eye for women of the law. Attorney Nancy Rose spent a lot of time working for Broadway actors, which is inarguably super gay, but alas, she is but a lawyer.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
CORRECT! Jane Lynch is not only a real life lesbian, but also plays a lesbian lawyer on The L Word. She also played Sue Sylvester in Glee, who is just as straight as your aunt Jan and her “roommate” Melissa.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
SURE, WE’LL GIVE IT TO YOU! You answered ‘lawyer’, so you’re either straight and oblivious or so gay that you remember Jane Lynch playing a lawyer named Joyce on The L Word.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
CORRECT! This is English television presenter and professional lesbian Sue Perkins. You may have recognized her from The Great British Bake Off or maybe you just have a great gaydar. Baking skills and knowledge of the LGBT community seem to go hand in hand.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
WRONG! We know- glasses and a tailored jacket? How could she not be a Harvard grad? But this is English television and radio presenter Sue Perkins- you obviously didn’t recognize her from The Great British Bake Off… so YOU are probably straight!
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
YES! Ulrike Folkerts is a German actress and swimmer. She competed in the Gay Games in 2002 and won a silver and bronze medal in the swimming relay. So not a gold star, but we’re still ready to dive in. Nice work.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
NOPE! Ulrike Folkerts is a German actress who has never practiced law a day in her life. Come on, get with the program! If you don’t know every lesbian actress from every country in the world… what are you doing on this website?
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
WRONG! Do you not see her crossed arms? This is obviously celebrity lawyer Patty Glaser.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
YES! That sassy pose must’ve given it away. Lawyer Patty Glaser is as straight as a woman with a blazer and a may-I-speak-to-your-manager haircut can be.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
CORRECT! This is british actress Luisa Bradshaw-White. She also plays a lesbian on the soap opera EastEnders. Her character on the show could really use a lawyer– her latest storyline was accidentally running over a child with her car. Maybe she should ask Patty!
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
NOOOO! You think this gal in a charm necklace and messy bun is a woman of the law?! She’s a british actress and you’re a bit-ish out of touch.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
WOW, GREAT JOB! She looks lawyerly AF, so nice work. This is Linda Villarosa; she’s worked as the executive editor for Essence magazine. She’s also a gay lady, which you sensed from this photo from its Bette Porter vibe.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
NO, BUT WE GET IT! This is Linda Villarosa, author and ex-executive editor for Essence magazine. But lawyer headshots and author headshots look strikingly similar sometimes.
“Is she GAY or just a LAWYER?!”
GAY
If you chose gay:
NO! BUT DOESN’T THAT SEEM SUSPICIOUS? Caryn Groedel is a lawyer and past contestant on Survivor. Too bad you didn’t survive this question. Let that sink in.
LAWYER
If you chose lawyer:
YES! ARE YOU A WIZARD? This one was hard, so give yourself a big gay pat on the back. Caryn Groedel is a lawyer and past contestant on Survivor. Was it those fresh blonde highlights that gave it away?
