What the WHAT!? 33 year-old Tinky Winky is set to wed Junior Windleberry, an IT Specialist from Newark, New Jersey next spring at their London estate. Celebrities really are just like us!
“Look, I get it. I’m an irrelevant cis white dad,” O’Rourke told reporters. “Which is why I want America to know that I am also a proud lesbian, and I’m ready to lead America.”
DeGeneres and the freshly dug up remains of Justice Scalia were spotted this past National Coming Out Day laughing it up and decomposing, respectively. “On this day in particular, it feels liberating to finally show the world who I really am!” The former comedian defended her proximity to the bigoted, rotting corpse. “We should be kind to everyone, even the corpses of those who sought to codify queer oppression!”
“Did you hit season 2, episode 5? I think you’ll really like it,” reported a local friend with a wink.
Of course, condom use would have been the best prevention.