Your sitting style can say a lot about you: how much anxiety you feel in a day, whether your desk chair is comfortable. If you’re a corporate cog in a consumer driven world, it’s important to know the aura you carry yourself with. As not to provide too much detail about your personal life to colleagues, here’s a quiz to determine whether your sitting style oozes “straight” or “so gay you take an hour at the end of the work day to untangle your legs like origami.”
1. You see a new chair at Office Depot and immediately:
A. Bounce up and down a bit and say “oh this is nice”
B. Sit on it cris-cross-apple-sauce style with one leg tucked over the other like an extremely elaborate cat’s cradle
2. Congrats, you got a job! Upon sitting down at your desk, you:
A. Check the lever on your chair and adjust to the appropriate setting
B. Immediately lay upside down on it to flex you’re a strong bottom if the guy in Tech ever needs to bust one
3. It’s been a long day and you need to take a little nap. What’s the most comfortable sitting position for you?
A. Sleeping at your desk? No thanks, I’m a morning person with an excellent sleep schedule.
B. Grab a pillow from the conference room chair and suspend yourself like a bat from a cave. The blood flow to your head will clear your mind for more Sex and the City binging.
4. You drop your pencil on the floor and go to pick it up, you:
A. Bend over with a stiff back because you have good posture.
B. Spin around like a dreidel in your chair trying to grab the pencil with your toe.
5. Finally! The end of the work day. To celebrate, you go home and sit on your couch ready for a TV binge marathon. As you nestle into the sofa, you:
A. Prop your legs up with a good glass of red wine. Time to check into the Crown!
B. Sit with your legs sprawled like a basketball player or a ballet dancer stretching for the recital. Gotta prep for the Grinder date picking you up in five minutes!
Mostly A’s: We are so sorry to let you know you are straight. It brings us no joy to break the news to you but someone has to.
Mostly B’s: If you choose anything other than sitting with your legs crossed, you’re gay! Welcome to the family!