Am I Crushing Or Is She Just My Stage Manager?

At precisely 10 o’clock, she calls for rehearsal to start. She’s so assertive. We start blocking and Alex selflessly takes notes for everyone. She pays such careful attention to where each of us goes.


I wonder what that attention would feel like if it was on me during a date, or when she meets my parents, or when we live together in a cottage in upstate New York, with two dogs and a goat.


“Kayte, your line. Kayte?” I suddenly get pulled back down to Earth by Alex’s bright, lowish voice. A voice that says, I’m most likely a lesbian. “Are you OK?” She cares about me!


A while later, Alex gives us a break. “It’s 11:52, be back at 12:02,” she says in her no nonsense way. “Thank you ten,” we all reply in unison like soldiers to their general. Alex commands that kind of respect.


During the break, all the actors get to know each other. We talk about our lives, career aspirations, and soon the topic of relationships comes up. “What do you look for in a person?” An actor asks the group.


My mind still on Alex, I say, “I’m looking for someone who is warm and caring, pays attention to detail, yet confident and assertive.”


“Sounds like your perfect person is a stage manager!” Another actor jokes.


My face heats up immediately and I pray it didn’t turn as red as I feel. “Hahahahahaha, maybe!” I laugh a little too loud. Oh, how love makes a fool of me!


Periodically during rehearsal, we pause and Alex makes marks on the floor with spike tape. She wears colorful rolls of tape around her waist on a large carabiner that says, I’m definitely a lesbian. My heart beats so loud every time she approaches me, I’m surprised she hasn’t reminded us to be quiet at rehearsal.


My absolute favorite thing about her is how precise her little tape X’s are, always four perfect right angles. They’re like little kisses just for me. And to mark where to set my chair every time we do this scene. 


An X upstage. An X downstage. AleX. I’m in love.

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