After Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling outed herself as a transphobe in a series of
As the coronavirus pandemic forces people across the world to stay home, many quarantined lesbians have turned their attention toward nesting. “I think this needs more houseplants,” lesbian Cara Martin said while putting down a bed of twigs in her living room.
“Laura, I’m really worried that nothing I’ve done in my life matters as we face the end of the world.” And Laura was just like, “I feel that.” And then we both just stared silently on FaceTime for a long, sad while.
Every year, all the heteros REALLY want for Christmas is for Mariah to sing that one fucking song. Mimi, welcome back into the arms of those who truly love understand you, the elusive chanteuse, the skinniest legend.
“It’s just so complicated,” remarked local father, Jonathan Coates, who understands what such terms as “ADP” and “walk-to-strikeout rate” mean. “Like, ‘they’ is singular now? It just doesn’t seem right. Anyway, some jackass just swiped one of my players. Who do they think they are?”