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Brave! Cis People with Harry Potter Tattoos Make Transphobia About Them
  • September 17, 2020September 17, 2020
  • Maddy Gross

Brave! Cis People with Harry Potter Tattoos Make Transphobia About Them

After Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling outed herself as a transphobe in a series of

Forced To Stay Home, Lesbians Start Building Nests
  • August 21, 2020August 21, 2020
  • Maddy Gross

Forced To Stay Home, Lesbians Start Building Nests

As the coronavirus pandemic forces people across the world to stay home, many quarantined lesbians have turned their attention toward nesting. “I think this needs more houseplants,” lesbian Cara Martin said while putting down a bed of twigs in her living room. 

REPORT: Even My Therapist Is Depressed Right Now
  • April 2, 2020April 13, 2020
  • Maddy Gross

REPORT: Even My Therapist Is Depressed Right Now

“Laura, I’m really worried that nothing I’ve done in my life matters as we face the end of the world.” And Laura was just like, “I feel that.” And then we both just stared silently on FaceTime for a long, sad while.

As Holiday Season Ends, Straights Return Mariah Carey To The Gays
  • January 3, 2020January 29, 2020
  • Maddy Gross

As Holiday Season Ends, Straights Return Mariah Carey To The Gays

Every year, all the heteros REALLY want for Christmas is for Mariah to sing that one fucking song. Mimi, welcome back into the arms of those who truly love understand you, the elusive chanteuse, the skinniest legend.

Dad Who Understands Fantasy Baseball ‘Doesn’t Get’ Gender Identity
  • December 30, 2019February 17, 2020
  • Maddy Gross

Dad Who Understands Fantasy Baseball ‘Doesn’t Get’ Gender Identity

“It’s just so complicated,” remarked local father, Jonathan Coates, who understands what such terms as “ADP” and “walk-to-strikeout rate” mean. “Like, ‘they’ is singular now? It just doesn’t seem right. Anyway, some jackass just swiped one of my players. Who do they think they are?”

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