It’s like a night and day difference! You’ve given her $112 this fiscal year as local legend Patty O’Weather and 0 replies as human being Derrick Turner!
“I’m so proud that you volunteer your time as a mentor to a very, very large family of 78!” your father reports. “When I was your age I was too busy sleeping around!”
With new advancements in filth-detecting technology, this recent research scrounged 500 household bathrooms. Every time the most depraved, disgusting, hard-to-reach cranny was YOUR entire cerebrum, perv!
Of course, condom use would have been the best prevention.
While the study sample was exclusively circuit gays, scientists can still conclusively say they have no fucking idea where Gene went. “Gene told researchers that he loves us but his body is too warm and the music sucks. Then he just bolted,” reported team leader Calvin Tolbin. “We’ve been searching for answers. Gene’s been searching for uppers.”